Tuesday, July 19, 2011

How soccer bosses spent their 67 mins for Madiba

Kaizer Motaung: I took it upon myself to pay a one month installment of Kaizer Chiefs Hospital Cash-back Plan for 67 homeless people

Jomo Sono: I bought lunch for my 2 imaginary homeless-friends. Sat with them, had rounds of burgers. I was happy to see them smiling

Colonel Khoza: This year I chose to do something for the elderly people. I spent my 67 mins renewing Lucky Lekgwathi’s contract, all in Madiba’s spirit

Jimmy Augousti: I paid for a 67 minutes of studio time for my Siwelele-Fans to spend with iHashi Elimhlophe. Hope it will improve their soprano voices

Patrice Motsepe: I bought groceries for Sundowns Legends and Mambush finally got a new pair of socks. The poor man touched me last month when he appeared in old team socks in his formal shoes during the club’s player awards

While soccer bosses were busy enjoying their day, Benedict Vilakazi used Mandela day to his advantage. He was seen at Social Development offices trying to negotiate a disability grant. “Since when dwarfism became a disability? Sir please, you are wasting your time no one will approve this application” said the help-desk personnel.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Victims talk of the house of pain

Charles Motlohi: “my cheek still has scratch marks from that Mambush slapping. That was a slap from hell”
Metthew Booth: “I was told I was not in the coach’s plans, but we had no coach at the time”
Hristo Stoichkov: “I was not fired, I resigned. I could not stand those bullies”
Jose Torelba: “I was told I have renewed my contract in Choorkop when I was in Venezuela during that time. Now people lost trust in me. When I signed a new contract for my new team Mineros, the team took photos and videos. They say they are protecting themselves incase in future I say I did not sign the contract”
Dino Ndlovu: “I spent 3 months without pay, when I inquired I was told I was under age, and the law is against child labour”
Manqoba Ngwenya: “For 7 years I was promised that my time will come, indeed my time came this year when I was shown the door”
Bennedict Vilakazi: “I am broke, I got no income and yet I still have 1 year left on my contract”
Antonio Habas: "My wife was admitted in hospital after seeing me on TV surrounded by those hooligans. Can you believe they even threatened my translator?"
Vuyo Mere: "Only one flying hand ball and all of a sudden I am a bird. After that penalty they told me to join the Dube Birds since I like flying... that's how I got to Swallows"
Ian Gorowa: "I went to the office to show them my plans for next season when they asked me what plans? what season? who are you? I said it's me the coach... they asked, says who? That's when I realized I am fired"