Tuesday, November 29, 2011

It never rains but pours at Bucs Special School

As the teacher arrives late for her class she finds Jali and Mabena on each other’s necks about the Mickey Mouse cartoon:

Jali: I am telling you Mabena, Mickey Mouse is a dog
Mabena: No, Mickey Mouse is a cat, look at those big ears?
"It’s a dog damn-it!, no it’s a cat” the two carried on until the teacher decided to step in
Teacher: Ok, ok! stop! Please stop! Captain Lekgwathi why aren’t you helping out here. Are you just gonna sit there and watch these two boys kill each other?
Lekgwathi: Mam, these two are dangerous these days. I don’t want to end-up with bruises similar to those they gave to that guy at News CafĂ© in Woodmead. I still love my face
Teacher: hew! I am surprised you still love your face. You two, can’t you see Mickey is a mouse?
*At the moment the Club's PRO Mickey Modisane enters the classroom?
Modisane: Hey! Hey! Ningazonhlanyisa lona maan (don’t drive me crazy). That Chiefs membership card does not belong to me. I am not a mouse nina maan!
*The class is shocked and asks each other what is it that Mr Mickey is talking about. Seeing the shock from their face he continues
Modisane: Ok, yes! the photo on that membership card is mine but that does not mean I don’t love Pirates…
Teacher: Mickey all the class was trying to solve was the animal that resembles the Mickey Mouse cartoon, now you are bringing in another puzzle with. Why do you hold a Kaizer Chiefs membership?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sir Bobby’s Letter of Apology

Dear Amakhoksi fakes faithful

I am quite aware of my actions of late and am not proud about such actions. When you came to the stadium wearing ladies’ bras I called you gay. Little I knew these would affect you drastically as I witnessed the birth of Cheerboy who not only came to the stadium wearing ladies bra but stomach-out and cheeky-pants.

When you threw vuvuzelas into the pitch I called you names, contrasted your behaviour to that of farm-workers on strike who are tired of getting paid in vegetables, you started throwing cabbages into the pitch right after my ignorant utterances.

When you called for my resignation from the team, I told you that I had never applied for this job at Chiefs, and I was not appointed or elected by the ANC or IFP, in response to my statement you started coming to the stadium wearing PAC attires, maybe you thought to yourselves: “If he is not appointed by the ANC nor the IFP, then he might have been appointed by the PAC”.

I do realize that my actions not only affected you the fans but my entire family. Junior is so ashamed of being associated with me as a brother that he started applying calamine lotion to hide his face during the day. He now wants to leave soccer for good and play rugby. I do acknowledge my actions were that of a bobbejaan, I therefore kindly beg for your forgiveness.

Yours truly

Bobbejaan Bobby