How soccer bosses spent their 67 mins for Madiba

Kaizer Motaung: I took it upon myself to pay a one month installment of Kaizer Chiefs Hospital Cash-back Plan for 67 homeless people

Jomo Sono: I bought lunch for my 2 imaginary homeless-friends. Sat with them, had rounds of burgers. I was happy to see them smiling

Colonel Khoza: This year I chose to do something for the elderly people. I spent my 67 mins renewing Lucky Lekgwathi’s contract, all in Madiba’s spirit

Jimmy Augousti: I paid for a 67 minutes of studio time for my Siwelele-Fans to spend with iHashi Elimhlophe. Hope it will improve their soprano voices

Patrice Motsepe: I bought groceries for Sundowns Legends and Mambush finally got a new pair of socks. The poor man touched me last month when he appeared in old team socks in his formal shoes during the club’s player awards

While soccer bosses were busy enjoying their day, Benedict Vilakazi used Mandela day to his advantage. He was seen at Social Development offices trying to negotiate a disability grant. “Since when dwarfism became a disability? Sir please, you are wasting your time no one will approve this application” said the help-desk personnel.

Trust Facebook when it comes to revealing secrets

Victims talk of the house of pain

Charles Motlohi: “my cheek still has scratch marks from that Mambush slapping. That was a slap from hell”
Metthew Booth: “I was told I was not in the coach’s plans, but we had no coach at the time”
Hristo Stoichkov: “I was not fired, I resigned. I could not stand those bullies”
Jose Torelba: “I was told I have renewed my contract in Choorkop when I was in Venezuela during that time. Now people lost trust in me. When I signed a new contract for my new team Mineros, the team took photos and videos. They say they are protecting themselves incase in future I say I did not sign the contract”
Dino Ndlovu: “I spent 3 months without pay, when I inquired I was told I was under age, and the law is against child labour”
Manqoba Ngwenya: “For 7 years I was promised that my time will come, indeed my time came this year when I was shown the door”
Bennedict Vilakazi: “I am broke, I got no income and yet I still have 1 year left on my contract”
Antonio Habas: "My wife was admitted in hospital after seeing me on TV surrounded by those hooligans. Can you believe they even threatened my translator?"
Vuyo Mere: "Only one flying hand ball and all of a sudden I am a bird. After that penalty they told me to join the Dube Birds since I like flying... that's how I got to Swallows"
Ian Gorowa: "I went to the office to show them my plans for next season when they asked me what plans? what season? who are you? I said it's me the coach... they asked, says who? That's when I realized I am fired"

Carlos Alberto Parreira, the smooth operator?

The picture above was inspired by the match fixing probe FIFA is conducting on Bafana matches particulaly the 5-0 win against Guatemala, and 2-1 against Columbia... So I thought of the game against France which was not mentioned in the investigation. I might be wrong but my opinion on the matter is that Carlos Parreira might have bought those games in order to give the nation an impression that the team was ready to conquer the world and of course to secure his R1.8 million monthly salary. I think he might also be responsible for the chaotic incidents in the French camp ahead of our last WC game, remember the then French coach Raymond Domenech did not even want to give him a handshake after the match... These are nothing but my speculations perhaps it will be right to wait for the final report of the investigation.

Letsholonyane finally found his match?

The PSL offered no challenge for Reneilwe 'Yeye' Letsholonyane but this is about to change. With the return of Leopards, are we in for yet another Yeye dominated PSL or Yeye has finally found his match?

Trapattoni shares his June 16 experience

Trapattoni: “… bullets were flying in all directions and since we did not have bulletproof vests I used the steel dustbin as a shield, I went through hundreds of bullets before I reached this young 5year old boy who was stuck underneath the police truck. I put him inside the dustbin and carried him away from the scene, safe to his mom’s home…”

Siyanda Xulu: “Wow! Uncle Tropattoni you are indeed a hero, so the boy, do you still have contact with him?”

Trapattoni: “Yes from that day June 16 1976 he has been my little friend hence I even compromised a lot to bring him to the team today. Innocent Mdledle is my young friend from old times”

Matthew Booth: “No ways! You mean Mdledle is the 5year old you saved 35 years ago?”

Trapattoni: “Booth, are you questioning the validity of my story? Are you saying I am not a real hero?”

Matthew Booth: “Not at all sir, I was just questioning Mdledle’s age”

Trouble in Mayfair Special School

Teacher sends Mhlongo to go fetch a ruler for his geometry class, 20 minutes later Mhlongo returns with Colonel Khoza.

Mhlongo: “This is the best ruler I have ever known. People say he is a dictator but he gave us R17 million”

Teacher: “Oh my goodness, what does he has to do with geometry?”

Colonel: “Wa re metsi a dirang wena? Ke mang a jang metsi?”

Teacher: ”Not ‘jang-mentsi’, ge..o…me…try, geometry eish! I give up”

Colonel: "Look here wena, why you eat these boys jealous, why oba jela mona? Ke eng, is it the R17 million I gave them?"

Teacher: "No sir, I am not jealous and I don't envy their R17 million, it is just that I am concerned about their education, I want them to grow..."

Colonel: "Who said they want to grow? Otorogu, do you want to grow?"

Otorogu: “No sir, I want to remain a youngster”

Teacher: ”Sir, by growth I meant mentally not physically, I mean let’s call Mxhosa and show you what I mean”

[teacher calls on Jali]

Teacher: ”Mxhosa, what are you going to be when you retire from football?”

Jali: “A Legend”

Teacher: ”And what is a job of a legend?”

Jali: ”haaah mam, you know mos, legends go to Robert Marawa’s show every Friday”

Teacher: “Sir, you see what I mean? Mbuyani what are you going to be when you retire?”

Mbuyane: “Physician”

Colonel: ”Aha! You see, not all of them are bad”

Teacher: “Wow! Mbuyane congratulations on such a big word, now tell us do you know what Physicians do?”

Mbuyane: “Ha mam, they are physical body builders, they build strong men like Otorogu”

Otorogu: "Hey! hey! hey! Who is a stong man? I am a young boy... come here you piece of &*()"