PSL Player Agent: License A Exam

Question 1:
Which of the following best describes Lucas Thwala’s position?
A) Defender-cum-Striker B) Striker-cum-Defender C) Confused Defender D) All of the above

Question2:
Red sea was named after it was colored with blood in the days of Moses. Siphelele Mthembu is to be baptized in the same sea, what will the sea be named, after Mthembu comes out of its water?

Question 3:
Teko played with Sam Pam for 6 seasons before Sam Pam retired from football 10 years ago. How old is Teko?

Question 4:
Which of the following best describes Pirates Fans?
A) Taxi Drivers B) Gay Taxi Drivers C) Violent Taxi Drivers D) All of the above

Dog dies of stress

A dog named Bondas suffered nervous tension while starring at the PSL Log Standings. Neighbors suspect the dog remembered what happened to Bashin (a dog Bondas used to share bones with) when Pirates lost the league to SuperSport United in the previous season. One neighbor Khosi says the last time he saw the dog, it was staring at the PSL Log Standings, then stared at a shovel believed to have been used in Bashin’s death. The dog then collapsed when its owner Bakajuju stepped into the backyard shortly after Pirates-Santos game.

Ertugral and Motaung exchange words

As Mataung Jnr steps into the field for Ajax-Chiefs game, Ertugral pokes him “Hey Model, what are you doing here, aren’t you suppose to be doing a photo shoot for a magazine or something?” Jnr ignores him. 29 minutes into the game Jnr scores a superb goal and goes to celebrate in Ertugral’s coaching box and say to him “Hey camera-man, I am here for a shoot, is your camera working?” Ertugral smiles and respond “You must ask that Donkey Mabuti Khanyesa, he was behaving like you when we played Sundowns but in the end I was the last man laughing”“Oops, you are forgetting something, you are playing Chiefs not Sundowns you idiot” replied Jnr and indeed Rooi and Nkosinathi 'Big Nuz' Nhleko scored to give Chiefs a well deserved 3-0 victory. Ertugral left Newlands stadium in agony "These boyz are back now, nxx"

What makes me what I am today?

I grew up in a place dominated by Pirates fans. I saw many kids going to school with no lunch money, some with blue eyes. I saw a man burning down his house which was painted black and white. At the age of 6 my father, my hero took me and my mom out of that place to a place dominated by Sundowns fans. It looked pretty good and quiet. Clean streets with the only noise made by birds. Most people in that area were female. I asked where the male people were. Most men have died of heart related illnesses blamed on the Rothmans Cup. Most boys were in juvenile prisons blamed on the same Rothmans Cup. I asked myself what kind of a person do I want to be, a violent person or a person who won’t live to see 40? I realized that I have a choice. I can live a stress-free life, a happy life, a love and peaceful life, a Khosi life. I am a happy man today because of the smart choice I made at the age of 6. I am a Khosi for life.

Bafana team selection

Ever wondered how the Bafana team selection works?
Here is a recorded Pitso- Santana conversation:

Santana: “Siya-dumela, Pitso”
Pitso: “Dumela Santana, not siya-dumela. Eish, this fong-kong...”
Santana: “Me found ze problem to ze right wing solution”
Pitso: “Wa pota gape, who is the player?”
Santana: “Ze player, ze quick, ze skillful, ze passes superb”
Pitso: “Quick, skillful and superb passes? Who is the player?”
Santana: “Ze player ze name is Abia Nale, ze Kaizer Chiefs”
Pitso: “Oh…that one. Yah, he is good but he is not a South African, he is from Zimbabwe”
Santana: ”Nale ze Zimbabwe? Me thought him South African”
Pitso: “Sorry man he is not, but I know a player who plays like him. His name is Benson Mhlongo from Pirates”
Santana: ”Ok, you call Molongo...”
Pitso: “Ok Ranko, I will call him”
Santana: ”Ze pleasure. Ze leboga”

Now we know why Pirates have more players in Bafana than Chiefs

Ajax bonds Khosi and Bhaka

After resurrecting his Bunene Ngaduane look-alike hair cut at the taxi rank. Khosi headed straight to his friend Baka Juju to catch a Chiefs VS Ajax game. Just before he could reach the entrance, Baka Juju spot him: “Eish, this ever-hungry boy has no timing, why does he always choose to pitch at this crucial time when I am about to finish cooking?” Baka Juju welcomes Khosi with a crocodile smile and makes him to sit at the TV room: “Haai, sisonke Khosi, ungahlala ngale…”

At this point the greedy Baka Juju is running out of plans on how to get rid of Khosi: “Should I tell him I just received an SMS about my uncle’s sudden heart attack…Eish, this boy won’t leave anyway he will come with an excuse that he will look after the house when I go check my uncle…”

Then Baka Juju, opened the pot that was busy boiling-up the Chicken, replaced the boiling water with the ice-cubes from the refrigerator to delay the cooking process. He carried on with the process until the end of the game. But Khosi still won’t leave since he had already smelt the chicken. Frustrated by this, Baka Juju made-up a phone conversation: “Hey Dawana how are you…What!!! Khosi’s girlfriend is in hospital? What happened?” before he could finish with his false call, Khosi interrupted: “Ag, it’s probably epilepsy, she gets one of those attacks every time when Chiefs gets defeated, let’s just eat and we’ll visit her later”

Hell breaks loose in Cape

Newlands-Cape Town: He enters the field running at a speedy pace he had never reached before. What is he up to? the assistants ask each other. Mr Peter Mabuza blows his whistle declaring the start of the first leg of the MTN Top 8 semifinal game between Ajax and Chiefs.

Several minutes into the game, out of the blue Mr Mabuza blows his whistle. The game is paused, everyone is surprised and wants to know the reason for the halt. He runs to his linesman and asks “What’s going on?” His linesman responds “I don’t know, you are the one who blew the whistle, you tell me”. He thinks for a while and asks his linesman “since you are a Cape-Townian, do you think that cheap drug called Tik is too powerful for me?”... ‘What!!!’ exclaimed the linesman, Mr Mabuza runs back to continue with the game.

Few minutes later, Chiefs defender Rooi clears the ball close to his goal post. Instead of granting a corner-kick to Ajax, Mr Mabuza gives a goal-kick to Chiefs. Ajax players give him that protesting look while at the other hand Chiefs players are smiling. Mr Mabuza gets irritated by Khune’s smile and changes his goal-kick decision to a penalty. “Is he out of his mind?” his linesmen ask each other. Khune asks him what is the penalty for, Mr Mabuza tells Khune “You think you know too much. Let’s see if you can stop this penalty like you did with Bennet Chenene’s in Vodacom semis”

After Ajax’s Dipsy scored from the penalty kick, Mr Mabuza runs to the center of the field happily roaring the words ‘Abashwe, let these dogs die…Who do they think they are to win every Cup, Ayeye…Shapa Ajax Shapa”. That angered the fans and missiles were thrown into the field…