Khanyeza ‘faces’ the disciplinarian

Mambush the disciplinarian well known for slapping his fellow player Charles Motlohi for refusing to take a penalty, called upon Mabhuti Khanyeza immediately after collecting his 3rd red card of the season. Mambush was standing at the side of his team’s only 54 fans of 28000 soccer fans that filled Super Stadium to the brim when Khanyeza came with his hands covering his face.
Mambush: “What are you doing?”
Mabhuti: “I wanted to score like Maradona, remember hand of god?”
Mambush: “Oh, yes. I do remember. Stretch you arms and unfold your hands so I can give you something”
[Mabhuti does as instructed. Within milliseconds a whipping sound outbreaks, Mabhuthi is dropping a tear and covers his left cheek]
Mambush: “Now that’s what I call a hand of god. Get off my face before I give you another one”

Legend blamed for title loss

Mambush, a rock solid Sundowns legend who in 20 yrs of playing time was never carried out of the field on a stretcher nor treated for an injury is blamed for the Sundowns lose to Cosmos. Mambush caused a great headache in the dressing rooms before the game with his debtors’ book and a sjambok: “May I have what is due to me before you go spend all your money on scarves?” demanded the Chloorkop Tuckshop owner. Hearing that horrifying voice, Brian Baloyi decided to take a run for his life. The coach had no choice but to give the goalkeeping position to Calvin Marlin who had never seen a game in ages. “Had Brian started in the post, there’s no doubt Sundowns would have won the game” said the frustrated team spokesman Alex Shakoane. "Of all games, Mambush decided to collect his money at this crucial one" the distressing Mike Nanana Ntombela alluded.

Trouble in Mambush Tuck-shop

“Uncle Mambush I know I am buying on credit but this bread has expired, stru it has reached its sell by date. You may check the expiry tag” said the disappointed Siyanda Xulu, to which Mambush responded: “Hey wena son, nothing expires here in Chloorkop? If things were expiring Esrom Nyandoro would have long been asked to leave the club. So stop complaining and eat your bread” While the 2 gentlemen argued Vuyo Mere the Expiry-date specialist in the shop, brings in a tag with expiry date set for next 30 days and replaces the one on Xulu’s bread and says “Problem now solved, enjoy your bread sir"

Phobia or Allergy?

Teacher: “Boys between you and me. Kali’s case is similar to mine. When I was your age, I would run after a girl, twist her wrist and ask her if she loves me or not. Once she says yes, I would leave the scene at a speed of a light and run to my friends to tell them I have a girl. But when I see her again, I would go for a hide”
Stonza: “Sir, you sound just like Orlando Pirates. They fight all the way to the top spot in the league. Once they realize the top spot occupants will get a trophy, they ran away from the top spot. Are they allergic to trophies?”

In Nandos with the linesman

While Wits are dealing with a disallowed goal, the linesman Stephen Moshotle is sitting in Nandos with a former colleague.

Stephen Moshotle: "Hape mmata, motho o tshwanetse ho re a ishebele. Phela those guys are giving us peanuts, we can’t rely on them. I wouldn’t be eating here in Nandos if I did not raise that flag last night. Hope I am given that Moses Mabhida game on the 19th so I can have a good Christmas lunch."
Jonas Nhlapo: “Lucky for you mmata, Sundowns is doing it quietly. Pirates e jampisitse and now I am sitting at home broke and smoking like hell”

Pirates call for team manager's head

“We are surprised how this man (Floyd) was brought to Orlando Pirates because we all know him as being a Kaizer Chiefs fan,” says Makhalanjalo. [KickOff.com 2009-11-16]

One wonders how Pirates faithful "Makhalanjalo" will react if he finds out that Dr Khoza (Pirates Chairman) is also a Chiefs fan...

PSL Player Agent: License A Exam

Question 1:
Which of the following best describes Lucas Thwala’s position?
A) Defender-cum-Striker B) Striker-cum-Defender C) Confused Defender D) All of the above

Question2:
Red sea was named after it was colored with blood in the days of Moses. Siphelele Mthembu is to be baptized in the same sea, what will the sea be named, after Mthembu comes out of its water?

Question 3:
Teko played with Sam Pam for 6 seasons before Sam Pam retired from football 10 years ago. How old is Teko?

Question 4:
Which of the following best describes Pirates Fans?
A) Taxi Drivers B) Gay Taxi Drivers C) Violent Taxi Drivers D) All of the above