Unexplained PSL Mysteries…vol1

Can someone please explain these mysteries in our PSL?
1. The curse of the hearing
Jimmy Tau hears whistles that were never blown. Dominic Mateba can’t hear whistle sounds that are even easily heard by people walking outside the stadium. The poor dude celebrated for minutes 'an offside goal', even when the ref was blowing harder to stop him from celebrating but the dude carried on. Both Tau and Mateba play for Chiefs and were once in the book of Pirates, does this curse has a link to the slogan once a Pirate always a Pirate?

2. The disappearance of the most expensive cabbage
Chiefs were finned R500,000 for a cabbage that was thrown by one of the supporters during a PSL game. That cabbage was taken to PSL Prosecutor Majavu’s office to be used as evidence. That cabbage was nowhere to be found after the DC hearing and no one knows its whereabouts to date…

3. Case of the convenient cramps
Why is it that Pirates players always suffer cramps after scoring a goal, why can't they get similar muscle cramps when they are trailing or when the score is still 0-0?

4. Pirates supporters celebrating Nathi Lions’ equalizer against Chiefs, at a Funeral nog'al. One Reverend who supports Pirates made reference to Nathi Lions VS Chiefs game while addressing his congregation at a funeral he said, I quote: "My beloved church members, friends and family of the deceased and the honourable deceased, please be advised that Nathi Lions has scored an equalizer. The score is 2-2 now. Can I get an Amen to this great news?”