Monday, May 23, 2011

Bhaka Juju finally finds his sense of humour

He takes his very old black & white shirt printed ‘Chibuku’ with big letters at the front, to its back he puts his own writing with a marking pen the words “The Champagne” we all know he meant to write ‘The Champion’ but anyway, he takes a pride walk in the streets of his neighbourhood singing Kabelo’s song “It’s either you love me or you leave me alone” He makes a first stop at his friend Khosi Kaofela home who unfortunately heard the singing and told his son to tell Bhaka-Juju he is not home. Unfortunately the son did not put it in a convincing manner: “Papa are ke go botse gore ga ateng (Dad said I should tell you he is not around)”

Bhaka Juju knowing his friend might be listening to the conversation, he tells the son: “bona my laaitie, tell your father I was not here to discuss football. I was here to apply for the Chiefs-Hollard Funeral Cover policy that he sells but since he is not here I might take my business elsewhere” Not wanting to lose a client Khosi comes out of the house furious at his son: “Hey wena son! Why do you always have to lie to people that I am not around? Is this the education they give you at school, to lie to your elders? nxa… go to your room” The son who is confused at the moment respond to his dad: “But dad, this is a one room house which room are you referring to?” Khosi get irritated by the son: “Hey wena son, go to your friends I am talking to elders here, vaya! This kind of attitude is the one that cost us the league… go son”

Bhaka Juju seeing that Khosi is really angry he throws in a question to shift his focus: “Just what comes with this Chiefs-Hollard Funeral Plan?”. Khosi now gets back to his selling senses: “Eh! Ja! eh! you see Bhaka, we all want a dignified funeral don’t we?. You see, with this plan, you not only get the coffin, you also get a Chiefs legend Marks Maponyane coming to cry in your funeral… I am telling you, he will cry to an extend that people get convinced that he knew you…Everyone will talk about your funeral Ntwana”


Bhaka Juju: “hohoho! Marks Maponyane crying in my funeral… that will be a funeral and a half... hohoho, my funeral! But tell me Khosi, can they also write on my coffin the words: ‘Here lies Bhaka Juju, The Champion of 2010-11 league, the same league that Chiefs claimed they will win but finished without even occupying number 1 spot?’

Khosi: “And...where are you going with this now?”
Bhaka Juju: “No-no-no Khosi, no harm, I just need more infomation. Now tell me, how much should I add to my plan if I want Kaizer to come and hold the umbrella for my coffin?”


That is the question that led to the chasing and throwing of stones at Bhaka Juju

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